Wednesday, September 10, 2003

You know those "Everything I need to Know I Learned From..." posters ?
Well, a clever person came up with the following. I have modified it slightly by eliminating a few lines and by emphasizing my personal favorites. For my fellow Tolkien geeks, see if you spot the references. (WARNING: SPOILERS!)

Everything I need to know about life I learned from Tolkien...
by A. Giesbrecht

Never underestimate the little guy! -Your worst nightmares really can come true- So can your greatest dreams- Be careful what you sing when you've had a little too much to drink- Wear your chain-mail UNDER your clothes- Be aware of the trees-Trust the elves. They usually know what they're talking about- Don't drop stones in unfamiliar water. You have no idea what could be down there- Be careful what you pick up, especially if you don't know who dropped it- Swords can be very dangerous- Don't assume that just because something fell that you killed it- Trust the Wizards. Unless, of course, they hole themselves up in a big stone tower and start breeding orcs with men-Tell the truth- Just because you're foolish and annoying doesn't mean you can't be of help- Sometimes you've just got to disobey your orders- Do not go to the elves for counsel, for they will say both "no" and "yes." Besides telling you their life story(and considering they're immortal...)- Do not meddle in the affairs of Wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger.Unless you really can't help it- -Don't judge someone's age by his size. Don't judge his strength by his size either- Fairytales aren't always just made up- Poetry is appropriate for all occasions-Never, ever, ever give up. Even in the face of certain death by roasting, wolves, or poison- Just because someone deserves to die doesn't mean you ought to kill him in cold blood-Don't rely on stereotypes and rumors-Never overlook anything-The right Road is usually the most dangerous one- Always take time to eat-"Weird" doesn't always mean "bad."- Elven swords are the best- One way to make friends is to speak their language-Hope is truly and amazingly powerful-Always arrive just in the nick of time. It makes for a better entrance- Elven bloodlines die hard-Always come home to your sweetheart-If the only place in the world that your ultimate weapon can be destroyed is within your country's borders, and your enemies happen to have this weapon, be absolutely sure they can't get in-Orcs really don't make very good spies. Or servants. Or anything-When you come home from an adventure, chances are you're a different person than when you left-Don't trust anybody who calls your mentor a fool-Always be sure and wash your head before breakfast- Looks can be very deceiving-If you can't see someone clearly, don't try to kill him- If you don't have a guide with you, don't take shortcuts-If you call for your rope, it may come to you- Sometimes it's best not to look down-Great empires often die from within-If something is considered off-limits, there is probably a very good reason why-Age is relative-No price is too high for true love-NEVER mouth off to a dragon-Friends often appear when you least expect it-Sometimes its good to kill the messenger-Never think no one's listening-Pride goeth before being stabbed in the knee by a plucky halfling-Pick your advisors VERY carefully-Keep track of your relatives. Especially during a war-A vow made in anger can come back to bite you. Hard-When you step out onto the Road, be careful. It may sweep you to places you never imagined....


Blogger Pleiades777 said...

Everything I ever needed to know about life I could have found in Lord of the Rings, if only I had known at the time ;-)...An occasional amusement of mine too, "oft evil will does evil mar" (probably misquoted) and orcs will be orcs... I've really enjoyed your blog, hope you are still at it.

3:25 AM  
Blogger Pleiades777 said...

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3:25 AM  

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