Fr. Bryce Sibley ....
found this:
What if The Lord of the Rings had been written by somebody else ?
My personal favorites ?
Sauron vs. Frodo the Lawsuit

Ogden Nash

And best of all, one I will post in full....

Captain Amazing's "Excerpt from the Summa Tolkiena"


III C 2 Whether Balrogs have Wings

i. It would seem that Balrogs do have wings. The Professor states 'the shadow about it reached out like two vast wings' and 'its wings were spread from wall to wall'

ii Further, a Balrog is, like a Dragon, an evil creature associated with the element of fire, and it is clear to everyone that Dragons do have wings.

I assert that Balrogs do not have wings. For, it is a natural impulse to act to preserve one's life, and in doing so, to make full use of one's capabilities. If the Balrog did have wings, it would not allow itself to fall to its death in the mines of Moria, but save itself by the use of its wings

Reply to Objection i. It is clear from usage that the Professor was using a metaphor here, and not being literally descriptive

Reply to Objection ii. Dragons and Balrogs are alike in that they are both servants of evil and of flame, but they differ in their accidential traits. Because two things are alike in one way, it is not proper to argue they are alike in other ways.