On October 31, 1843
Venerable John Henry Newman wrote to Archdeacon Henry Edward Manning about his spiritual struggles as he hesitated between Canterbury and Rome:

Your letter has made my heart ache more, and caused me more and deeper sighs than any I have had a long while, though I assure you there is much on all sides of me to cause sighing and heartache. On all sides I am quite haunted by the one dreadful whisper repeated from so many quarters, and causing the keenest distress to friends. You know but a part of my present trial, in knowing that I am unsettled myself.

Since the beginning of this year I have been obliged to tell the state of my mind to some others; but never, I think, without being in a way obliged, as from friends writing to me as you did, or guessing how matters stood. No one in Oxford knows it or here" [Littlemore ], "but one friend whom I felt I could not help telling the other day. But, I suppose, [very] many suspect it.

Manning was to be received into the Catholic Church himself, some years after Newman-and was to cause the Venerable a good bit of grief.